A satisfying sexual life is an important component of a healthy and happy relationship. Unsatisfying sexual intercourse can be frustrating and it can also disrupt intimacy between couples, causing major relationship difficulties.

Premature ejaculation (PE; also called early ejaculation, rapid ejaculation or ejaculation praecox) is a common male sexual problem where the man is unable to last as long during sexual intercourse as he or his partner would like. While PE directly impacts the man, it can also impact heavily on their partner's sexual life and on the general quality of life of couple¹⁸

PE was recently defined by experts as being made up of three main aspects^2-4:

• a short time from penetration to ejaculation (or ejaculation before penetration);
• feeling unable to control ejaculation
• unhappiness or difficulties caused by PE.

PE can take two forms. Men can have PE from the first time they have sexual intercourse (known as lifelong or primary PE), or it can develop after many years without problems (that is called acquired or secondary PE)⁵. It's important to note that many people wish that sexual intercourse would sometimes last longer even though their partners don't have PE. There is no such thing as a normal time to ejaculation because it varies so much between men and even varies for the same man with different partners, situations etc.
Some studies have shown that the average time to ejaculation is around 7 minutes³, bit if your partner's time to ejaculation is usually well over 1 minute and doesn't cause him or you bother, they probably don't have PE.
For the partners of men who do have PE, it can lead to sexual dissatisfaction, lack of intimacy and may even trigger feelings of anger or responsibility. Yet many partners feel reluctant to discuss the issue of PE because they worry about hurting the man's feelings. It is important to realise that PE is a common but treatable medical condition and that, by encouraging your partner to speak to his doctor, he can potentially get access to a number of effective treatments.

PE is sometimes confused with erectile dysfunction (ED; impotence), a condition where the man cannot achieve or maintain an erection suitable for sexual intercourse. Men with PE ejaculate with a rigid erection while men with ED may lose their erection prior to ejaculation⁶. Unlike ED, PE is not frequently associated with serious underlying medical conditions like heart disease or diabetes, although it is possible to have both PE and ED.

The main differences between PE and ED^6,7

If you are concerned that your partner may have PE or ED, you should encourage him to speak to a doctor, but first make sure that he is clear about his symptoms so that the doctor can understand what might be the issue and how best to treat it. You might wish to accompany your partner to the clinic.