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Talking About PE

If you think that your partner has PE and it's making either of you unhappy, then you should speak to your partner and encourage him to talk to his doctor.

 

 

You might feel worried that raising this issue with your partner will upset him. Sexual performance can be a sensitive subject for a man and you might think he'll feel embarrassed or ashamed of talking about PE. It's important to remember that the doctor hears these kinds of things all the time and that they are the best source of help for PE. If you are very concerned, then you may want to consider talking to your doctor first.

 

 

So what is the best way for your partner to approach the topic of PE with his doctor?

 

 

 

Talking About PE

 

Before they go
Before visiting the doctor, encourage your partner to think about the issues he wants to talk about. Having a clear agenda will make it easier to get started on solving the problem in the short time that he'll have in the clinic. Talk to him about his symptoms, when they happen and what effect they're having on both of your lives.

Make sure that one of you writes notes to take with him to the appointment - this will help your partner to remember all the issues that are worrying you as a couple. If he feels nervous or embarrassed, he might forget a question that he wants to discuss.

 

 

Talking About PE

 

How he can get the conversation started?
The best approach is for your partner to just tell the doctor right at the start of the appointment that he has a sexual issue he'd like to discuss. For example, he could say:

 

 

" Doctor, I'd like to discuss my sexual health with you "

Or

" I've been hearing a lot about premature ejaculation recently and I'd like to talk to you about it "

 

 

 

Talking About PE

What he can expect from the doctor?
Raising the issues of PE is the difficult part. What should follow is an open discussion about your partner's symptoms, how he feels about them, and what is important for you as a couple to achieve to overcome your concern. The doctor will probably ask a series of questions about your sexual relationship, your general health and some specific questions that might not even seem related to PE.

Here are some questions that your doctor might ask your partner:

Questions on your sexual life:

  1. How much time passes between penetration and ejaculation?
    – Although it is not the only feature of PE, the length of time between penetration and ejaculation is a good indicator of the severity of your partner's symptoms
  2. Has your partner always had premature ejaculation or is it something that has developed more recently?
    – The doctor will want to establish whether your partner has lifelong or acquired PE.
  3. Does your partner ejaculate with a rigid erection?
    – PE can sometimes be linked to erectile dysfunction (ED; impotence) and the doctor will want to know whether your partner has PE, ED or both PE and ED.
  4. Has he tried any medications, creams or techniques to help with the PE symptoms?
    – If he's already tried a treatment strategy and it hasn't worked as well as you'd both like then the doctor may select a different option

Questions about your health and life in general:

  1. How does your partner feel about life in general, are his symptoms affecting his mood or confidence?
    – PE can affect a man's confidence and even cause anxiety and depression in some cases
  2. How is your relationship with your partner?
    – PE can cause difficulties with your relationship that may also affect the general health of you and your partner